please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
I miss vodka workout Fridays
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Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
I'm gonna fight the coyote
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