guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
Randomize