I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
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