I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
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