the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
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