yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
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At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
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The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
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