ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
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