Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
Randomize