no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
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