My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
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