I'm laying in your front yard are you home
Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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