She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize