the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize