is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
Randomize