he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
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I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
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I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
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