I feel like I'm in dance class right now
I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
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