K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
I have a voicemail from Mike at 1am. He starts to say something, but then throws up instead.
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
Randomize