i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
Randomize