Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
Your shirt... Was in my pants
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
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