Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
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pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
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