Christians are straight up FREAKS
You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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