Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
You are in my phone as "Thigh Gap" and you apparently work for "DO NOT DRUNK TEXT, INC." That is why I called you six times last night. So unless you take a second job at "NO DRUNK DIALING LLC" expect more. PS I am sober so this is legit.
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
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