# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
Hey cutie is the game almost over? I'm making dinner for us it'll be ready soon. Xox
You would rather make fucking dinner than watch a hockey game that rivals the epic-ness of miracle, the one of the biggest upsets in sport history? Babe I don't know if I can date a girl with such terrible priorities.
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
Randomize
