Note to self. Never fart in a tanning bed
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
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"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
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Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
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