my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
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Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
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