Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
Have you ever wanted to murder the Sun? To bring the life-giving fusion reactor to a bitter end because of the sheer agony it brings to your eyes as it keeps you awake. And for waking the birds. Fuck birds.
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
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