Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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