I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
At the funeral we'll say nice things, like "She was delightfully extreme, psychotically wonderful, and could probably drink all you fuckers under the table."
That's literally the perfect eulogy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i think my cat just said my name.
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
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