i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
Randomize