we're chasing vodka with high fives
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
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