theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
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