I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
Randomize