Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
Randomize