omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
I woke up this morning to 7 word documents that all said "remember to be extremely angry at your jerk of a brother." What the hell did you do to me last night?
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
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