Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
Randomize
