You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
Randomize