party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
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I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
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ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
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