Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
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matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
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my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
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