I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
What did we do last night that was yellow?
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
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tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
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The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
Randomize