You're so nebulous sometimes
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
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were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
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she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
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