I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
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