Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
Who wears a wallet chain?!
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
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I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
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Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
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