just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
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