so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
So squirting runs in the family.
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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