I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
Randomize