One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize