Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
Answer the phone when I call you in a second. Just got pulled over for getting road head, going to secretly put you on speaker phone, this should be good
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize