I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize