you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
it hurts more in the daytime
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
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