The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
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